Just as there is a process into which an artist immerses himself/herself before creating a masterpiece, there is also a process that can be followed for people to resolve conflicts.
The next time you're about to have a "discussion" with someone who may have a differing opinion than you about an issue, you may want to ask him/her if they would like to:
- be clear about the issue,
- accurately identify and agree upon what you're both trying to achieve, and
- effectively resolve an issue to your mutual satisfaction.
If he/she is willing, then it may be helpful if you both take a few moments to use the flow chart below to map out exactly what each of you desires...write out your answers separately, then compare notes. You're both more likely to resolve your situation or issue on a "win-win" basis if you both completely understand each other's points of view and desires.
Resolving your issue may end up with you both simply "agreeing to disagree," respectfully, then moving on, with no hard feelings toward each other...you will likely develop a deeper relationship, as a result...a better place to be, rather than further apart, wouldn't you agree? And, you would both end up creating your own "masterpiece."
N.B. While you're discussing the issue, you may find that other issues surface...set those aside to deal with another time, using this method...stick to one issue at a time for best results.
P.S. If you're wrestling with several options or paths to follow on a single issue that involves only yourself, you can also use the above approach and play "devil's advocate" (take both sides) in order to decide which option/path would be best for you to implement.
